Help? No. Not any more.

You want to know what I think is incredibly short sighted? Groups who could learn promotions from me and who would benefit from my help not figuring out one hand scratches the other's back theory.

I am seriously disgusted by this. It's why I quit doing a monthly calendar for kink in general. I decided a while back after wasting a year cross promoting everyone while I was on the board, that this is total bullshit. I helped build everyone's clubs. I helped hump too many events for people who show absolutely NO gratitude for my efforts.

So here is my answer - uh fucka youa.

For real.

Folks can't support me and my efforts, well then I am just applying the rule : Do unto others....

It sickens me how selfish people can be....and stupid.

And I would have offered groups a chance to make some money during the quarterlies...given them a code to profit off my event for their benefit.

Now...well, shit I don't even want to see some of their fucking faces. I will just build my own audience.

Oh and I will STOP telling my attendees about their clubs - so KIDDIE POOL, HPEP, ETC forget my help.

If you want my guests to know about your groups guess what? YOU CAN BUY AN AD WHEN I START MY PRINT OUTS FOR DISTRIBUTION. And you can all pay full price, while those who do send representation will be getting a DISCOUNT.

So sick of this shit. Eighteen fucking years of it. SICKENING.

Ask questions

I love waking up to see no one as a collective can seem to ask any freaking questions when all they see is "drama". Seriously people?!?

Ask - why if nothing else.

For those who have asked me here is what I have responded with:

Evidently when the vote to allow the SOs of board members at the special committee meeting where they were going over the new bylaws, and she voted against any of them being there. This makes NO sense considering Feral is the one who wrote them and could explain easiest and change things quickest. Well she lost the vote on this and proclaimed "Then I won't come in protest".

I explained that truthfully as long as the club was going under the current by laws her presence was not even required, because as Chair she does not have a vote until the other board members tie. But rather than put up with her shit behind the scenes the two with big integrity decided to go out with a polite bang.

I honestly did not know it was happening until after it was already on the HPEP group. And since I took myself off that group weeks ago, I learned it from Celli and then Rob in my feed. To be frank, they were being treated horribly by her and they shouldn't have to put up with that shit for a volunteer position. No one should.

And then Jade quit when HKJ tried to put up some bullshit excuse. First Jade's boy called her out on it and then Jade quit. See her blog for details.

*************end note***********

So why aren't you asking is there a dictator in our mist? Someone who created a hostile situation that forced three really good and experienced people out? [I stand firm that the first of the four who are no longer there should have been forced out - and possibly maimed for her theft.]

Why haven't any of you noticed how someone in particular has changed? It's clear to many of us, but we are the types who pay attention and many folks are just bumble stumble bees.

I felt compelled to block four people last night. Three have been annoying the pants off me for months and the fourth one was someone who thought she had some place to come at me, even though I don't fucking know her dumb ass. I won't argue with strangers. Why bother?

Why bother is my new motto in terms of dealing with this organization [and I use that term graciously at this moment]. I did what I promised last year. I will NEVER do it again because I DO NO WISH IT.

YOU STUPID FUCKS - vent

I've seen the behind the scenes. I also know all the history of past dick-tatorships. Unlike you dolts! You morons have no point of reference. You have NO idea the destruction and division you will face. I do because I know who you are hurting and how. YOU ARE BEING LED TO THE DARKSIDE AND WHILE THEY MAY HAVE CAKE THERE ARE no COOKIES.

My biggest talent is to gossip the truth. Nothing more harmful than an honest answer from an informed source. I can't begin to express my disappointment in two people in particular, but really....how can either of you who has not been in a Ds AUTHENTIC relationship with a clear hierarchy of power because you are both publicly proclaimed switches, DARE THINK YOU KNOW SHIT ABOUT A FULL TIME POWER EXCHANGE. I know for a fact your EXgirlfriends must have never had that with you, so give it a rest. YOUR INEXPERIENCE IS SHOWING....

Hell if I know what to say
Pointless
Every single day
Please
Stop

Never mind
Everything is okay
Whatever

Bullshit
Overtly hostile
Aggravating
Really
Destructive

I am so happy
Satisfied

Abundantly

Forgetting
Removing
Unrelenting
Abiding by my word
DONE

Do it yourself
I tried
Can’t get you to see
That’s fine with me
Avoidance is simple
Truth is not
Ovations to those who survive
Remember
Stay aware
Help when you can
Ignoring ignorance
Pushing for nothing
Shut up

Stupidity
Unforgiving
Condescending without reason
Kills a good thing

Just a suggestion out loud

If you want to run an already existing organization, you might want to do your homework about or know the history of the group you wish to helm. Nothing is worse than observing a leader show their ignorance. I can live with their inexperience showing, but ignorance is unforgivable...

Before you take on the big job of leading, find out if the larger group has smaller supporting groups. In some clubs they are referred to as "Special Interest Groups". You should know what each of them are, maybe find out what ones used to exist and why they no longer do, and who supports them. THEY ARE A BIG PART OF YOUR CLUB'S HISTORY, PRESENT AND FUTURE, people!

If the organization has a bad history around town, why wouldn't you find out what the fuck it is and why? You could be trying to book a venue the club had previously used. Maybe they left it because NO ONE wanted to drive into that part of town. Perhaps it was a parking issue. OR maybe just maybe it is no longer used because the club is not welcome there anymore.

Do you know who has spoken the ugliest of the group? Who has been it's biggest supporters? And who can really help you behind the scenes???

Seriously, before you run for anything....DO YOUR DAMN HISTORY WORK.

There are plenty of people to ask, so you could get all kinds of stories from all sorts of angles. One will lead you to another. That's how vetting works, and this is sort of you vetting the organization BEFORE you pin your name on it.

A note to the Sneaky Snakes

First - you are not that sneaky. Do you people really think I would write something that I wouldn't say to someone's face?

Second- in case you are too self absorbed in your weak ass attempts at being sneaky, when I share an email exchange publicly ~ I share them completely without edit or anything. I want you all to see what both people said. Then you be the judges....To force the removal of them, you kind of are a punk ass because you are not allowing transparency and full disclosure. YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A JACKASS FOR THAT.

Third - bring it. Bring everyone right to my blog. Let them read my writing. Let them see my perspective - YOU IDIOTS. This only HELPS me. Bad press is still press. My name is still being emitted to the universe and you are only adding to MY fame. Thanks for that - jackasses!

I know you are just *protecting your friends*. ARE YOUR FRIENDS SUCH BIG WHIMPS THAT THEY CAN'T COME TO MY FACE? You are honestly just stirring shit and kissing ass. YOU MAKE ME WANT TO VOMIT IN YOUR FACES FOR YOUR BULLSHIT.

Seriously, I mastered these skills in junior high. Grow the fuck up. Learn how to deal with an honest reply. Realize everything is a fucking struggle, but the folks who will be direct and try to give you a heads up, really might be the ones who truthfully have your back...don't be such a jerk.

Remember if you are sending people here to sit in judgement of me, the only person you are hurting is yourself. None of this petty bullshit hurts me. It gives me a HUGE fucking laugh.

I am a narcissistic bitch who has honed her social skills to read people from across the room. Rather than buying into your crap, I will either smile to your face as I walk by OR IGNORE YOU AS IF YOU DO NOT EVEN EXIST. Be glad about this...because in the past I would have destroyed you just to amuse myself. I am evil after all. Remember?

Such a fucking joke.

Man I feel that pain

I just read how the pressures are getting to someone. I feel that pain. Been there and earned the gold level merit badge. Surprise the spot behind the curtain is really a job for someone who can help rewire the machine after it explodes! Even I couldn't figure it out. It will forever be a source of mystery to me on some levels.

I am truly sorry read it is difficult. I have backed the fuck off. That's what I do once I am done. And I was done months ago or it so it seems. Time is never my friend. I think two weeks is a month, truthfully. Comes from spinning so fast mentally.

Either way, I wish you nothing but the absolute best. Sincerely. I like who you are and would hate for this stupid volunteer commitment to break you. I know you can do it....more easily than people give credit for.

Best of luck to you with it...Save yourself some heartache....don't prove yourself by proving other people wrong...it's not worth it....trust me.

The audacity of some people will never cease to amaze me.

Oh my fucking heavenly beings! I can not fathom why this woman would think I would welcome her to my events. When she asked, I responded with:

Actually, I would prefer you stay away. And it's not that I don't like you - it's that I hate how the money situation tainted a year's worth of full time + work for me that had my reputation on the line and used up so many of my personal favors. Basically, I earned you every single dime.

After I was determined to be your biggest cheerleader and hoped to improve your self esteem after all the shit the Bears did to you! I did that because I liked you.

But you burned me. I don't want anymore of the slide slinging shit coming off around you affecting me or any of my events, thank you for asking.

So how do you expect me to feel?

What the fuck did she want?!? DO I SEEM LIKE THE TYPE WHO ENJOYS TAKING GETTING EXTRA SHIT THANKS TO OTHER PEOPLES' FUCK UPS?!?!?! She blackened my diligence and dedication. To ask me to accept her with open arms flat out insulted my intelligence! AND NOT ONCE HAS SHE APOLOGIZED TO ME FOR HER CRIMES!

She said she understood. But I made certain of it with my closing reply before I blocked her:

Thank you for extending me that much respect. Please do not contact me any further. The reminder of this great disappointment is too disheartening to experience any longer or should remain only when the universe really needs to remind to never trust anyone ever again.

YOU DUMB CUNT! YOU NOT ONLY FUCKED HPEP OUT OF THAT MONEY BUT YOU ROBBED ME BECAUSE I AM THE ONE WHO DID ALL THE REAL WORK! FUCK YOU AND EVERYONE WHO IS LIKE YOU! ENOUGH IS FUCKING ENOUGH!!!!!!!